Out of My Control

By Joy Adams

A few weeks ago, I walked out of my church’s Sunday Service to realize that it had rained.  The sidewalk, parking lot and all the cars were wet.  I got in my car and began heading to home.  It was not really raining much anymore but there was some light sprinkling.  As I waited at a red light before being able to turn onto the freeway towards home, I noticed three people standing in the medium of the road across the intersection from me.  At first I thought, it was an unusual place for panhandlers, especially on a raining day, but then I realized that the individuals were not panhandlers at all but were drivers who had just been in a three car fender bender.    

As I realized what had just happened, I could hear my mom’s voice in my head. “Joy, you always have to be careful driving during a first rain.  Water and oil don’t mix and in a first rain, all the oil accumulates and makes the roads slick.”  As I thought about my mom’s caution, which I must have heard her say at least a hundred times, I mentally told myself that I would need to drive a little slower and allow more space between me and the other vehicles.  I then decided that while I drove, I should pray for road safety, knowing that not everyone was conscious of the dangers of a first rain.   

My light turned green and with safety in the forefront of my thinking and internal prayers, I turned onto the freeway entrance which circles around before merging onto the freeway. As I began to come out of the circle portion of the onramp, I began to accelerate in preparation for merging onto the freeway.  Suddenly, I had no control over my vehicle.  I put my foot on the brake and nothing happened.  I continued to spin out of control.  I braced myself, expecting that at any moment the car that had been behind me would be crashing into me, but instead, it was somehow able to maneuver around me.  After making a 180 degree turn, my car slips off the road onto the shoulder and with the added traction of the gravel shoulder, my car suddenly comes to a stop.  I am now facing the wrong direction on the shoulder of the onramp. 

With my entire body and mind full of adrenaline, all I could think of was “Thank God, my kids weren’t in the car” quickly followed by “What would have happened if I wasn’t consciously driving slower due to the rain?”

With the help of a Good Samaritan who blocked oncoming traffic for me, I was able to get my car turned around and once going the right direction, I quickly found a safe place to pull over until I could get my racing heart rate and mind, back to a normal.

In the moments that followed my mind was flooded with all my other close calls involving vehicles.  As a fourteen year old passenger headed up the mountains for a fun filled day of skiing, our car hit a section of black ice, made a 180 degree turn and flipped on its side, we were okay, but our car was totaled.  In my early twenties, I was driving near a high school, just as the students had been dismissed.  I stopped at a crosswalk where a young man was beginning to cross.  The car behind me, decided not to stop, but instead crashed into me with good speed.  Thankfully, the student who had been crossing the street, jumped out of the way, just in time, otherwise, he would have been seriously hurt.  My car was totaled and I suffered neck and shoulder pain for months afterwards.  A few year later I was in a car wash, the kind that you are supposed to put your car in neutral and let the machine pull your car through.  Well, apparently, the lady in the car behind me decided to not put her car in neutral and for some reason during the wash, she attempted to put her foot on the break, only it wasn’t the break, it was the gas.  I certainly never expected to be rear ended in a car wash.  Then a few months ago, I was rear ended again, this time at a stop light.  The lady who hit me was not going very fast and there was minimal damage.  The boys were in the car with me and when I asked them if they were okay, they equated the sudden jolt of the car with an amusement park ride.    Obviously they were fine. But for me, it was just one more reminder that I have no control over those around me.

Two single vehicle accidents in which the car rotates out of control 180 degrees. And three times being rear-ended.  My experience in vehicles has taught me that both road conditions and drivers can be unpredictable.  These experiences often makes me a defensive driver and at times a nervous passenger. 

In each circumstance, I did nothing wrong.  But the accidents still occurred.  The only way to avoid such accidents with 100% certainly would be to never leave the house.  And that is not going to happen.  I have too much of a calling on my life, to let the things outside of my control, control me. 

I think that sometimes, we as human beings think that bad things should not happen to good people and all the more, often as Christians, I think we feel that we should be sheltered even further from the troubles of life.  The Bible, however tells us that we will in fact have trouble:

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things.  Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

Matthew 6:34

Jesus even told His disciples:

“In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33

If we take the troubles of life as signs that we are somehow doing something wrong or that we have somehow made a wrong turn, we will miss out on the fulfillment of the promises God has for us.  In the same way that I cannot afford to stop driving in vehicles, none of us can afford to sit on the sidelines of life, in hopes of avoiding the unforeseen. 

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

James 1:2-4

My experiences have taught me to expect the unexpected on the literal road and on the road of life.  When driving, I wear my seat-belt, I drive the speed limit, I use my blinker, but I also realize that I cannot control what is outside of my control.  I am making peace with this reality. 

Sometimes in life, we find ourselves suddenly facing the wrong direction on the side of the road, and frequently it has nothing to do with anything we did right or wrong.  In these times, I challenge you to get turned back around, take a deep breath, and start driving again.  Accidents happen.  Trouble comes.   But the calling on your life, just like mine, is bigger than whatever things may be out of your control. 

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Photo by Yoel J Gonzalez on Unsplash