By Joy Adams
This past summer, my kids, (two boys, ages 4 and 7) along with my niece, age 8, who was at the time visiting with us, all attended Vacation Bible School (VBS) together. One of the theme songs for the week, which quickly became one of their new favorites was Whole Lotta Change. At the time, I did not know it, but in reality that VBS week became a pivotal time for our family and what started as a fun VBS song, has now become a theme song to our current season. A season of change.
There’s a whole lotta change coming your way
’cause like it or not, nothing stays the same
so hold on tight, and follow real close
’cause God is good and He’s in control
Whole Lotta Change, Lifetree Kids, Roar VBS
By the end of that VBS week, we, my husband and I, offered to open our home to our niece, who we now consider as a daughter. She has been with us since early August, 2019 and we could not imagine our lives without her. She has become an amazing big sister to our boys and has added so much beauty, laughter, and love into our home.
Adding an additional family member has come with blessings too numerous to count. It has also stretched our family and myself personally further than I thought possible. We were unsuccessful in getting an inter-district transfer for my niece into our older son’s school. This resulted in me spending three to four hours per day commuting to and from their separate campuses (two towns away from each other). In addition, the two separate schools had very similar start and end times, requiring the impossible, for me to be in two places at once. I was going to need help, but it was not easy for me to be in a situation that I needed help. Being in a place of needing help, often left me feeling inadequate or as if I were still a kid.
I am the youngest in my family, with two older sisters. Growing up, I loved being the youngest, even though at times, between my actual mom and two older sisters, it sometimes felt like I had three moms. I was well protected and well provided for. As an adult, I have found that family dynamics are hard to change and that no matter how old I am, I will always be the little sister. Within my family, I have come to be okay with this, but outside of the family setting, I have worked hard to become strong, to be a resource to others, and to not walk through life in ‘little sister’ mode. It is for this reason, that it can be difficult for me to ask for help. When my heart’s goal is to be a resource to others, it is really hard when I have to admit to myself and others that I need help.
Welcoming my niece into our family has brought so much joy into our home. It has also exposed my inability to do everything on my own. I have been humbled almost daily, as I have required help with the daily tasks of motherhood, such as drop offs and pick-ups from school. I have had amazing friends (and family) come by my side to help me, including one special friend who helped me get my niece to school each day, effectively helping me to do what seemed impossible. These friends have loved me, encouraged me, and have physically stepped in to help me when I fall short. These types of friends are amazing and God sent. They also expose my areas of pride, self-reliance, and areas of vulnerability. It is easy for me to give, it is harder and humbling for me to receive.
I have often heard preachers say things such as “Sometimes God will ask us to do something bigger than ourselves”. I, myself, have often found myself in a situation that was bigger than me, but generally in these circumstances, what is required is living a life of prayer and allowing God to work before me. Lately, however, life being bigger than me, has required me to accept help when it is offered by others and to even ask for help before I am at my wits end.
This season of change, has helped me to grow. I am learning to be more organized, and I am realizing that asking for help does not equate to failure or being juvenile. These are good and valuable lessons for me considering that another change is now underway.
This month, a new change has presented itself. We have worked diligently and quickly to prepare for an unexpected increase in our family. Another niece, age 15 and nephew, age 13 (older siblings to our niece that has already been in the home) have both just joined our family. This most recent change is brand new. It is both exciting and terrifying to think that we have suddenly become the parents to five kids, two of which are teens.
Just to prepare for our newest additions, we have needed to call in the cavalry. Friends and family have helped to organize and set up the kid’s bedroom, organize the linen closet, rearrange the pantry, and help pick up new cabinets for the garage, A.K.A. the homeschool room. (Did I mention I am homeschooling all five!) Sheets and blankets have been purchased for the kids, as well as new shoes. Friends near and far are praying for the smooth transition of our beautiful blended family and we have received a few little white envelopes with cash inside. I am humbled. Humbled not from embarrassment that I couldn’t do this all on my own, but humbled with gratitude that we have so many loved ones who are cheering us on and who are willing to partner with us on this brand new adventure, that is far bigger than we are.
As we now move forward, as a newly established family of seven. We know that this is only the beginning. More changes are on the horizon, and I am not embarrassed to say that we will need prayers, hugs, love, support and most certainly, an occasional shoulder to cry on. Our kids will need this too, all of them.
Please keep us in your prayers.
Loved this post! So encouraging and reminds me of a good Hallmark movie. 😉 You and your beautiful family will remain in my prayers.
You have so much love to give! May God bless you all richly, so that your testimony will be “the Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want”